The Lingering Glance

Gypsy Vixen is finally making headway with her Crush.  We reiterate that the short skirt IS lucky for her!   This was what transpired today:

Scene 1:

Gypsy Vixen wrapping up making her coffee at the Starbucks condiments counter.  A guy enters the restroom, which is right by the counter.  Gypsy Vixen saw only his profile.  Though it kinda looked like Crush, she just shrugged it off.

Scene 2:

Elevator lobby of the office building.  Gypsy Vixen about to enter elevator but suddenly stepped out upon receiving a phone call.  Gypsy Vixen faces the main lobby.  Crush walks by.

Scene 3:

Crush turns to look at Gypsy Vixen, slows down just a little, then still keeps his head turned to her and maintains eye contact as he walks away.  Gypsy Vixen almost drops the phone, haha!

Is Gypsy Vixen now the stalkee instead of the stalker?  Has the tide turned in her favor?  We certainly hope so!

Dealing with Cowards

So you finally turned on the charm full blast and invited Crush for a casual coffee date. The date went well, and ended good. There was no awkwardness whatsoever when you parted at the end of the evening. In fact, things were really friendly – and continued to be so for a few days afterwards. And then…

Nada.  He seems to have vanished into thin air.  You never see him again…and when he finally does appear, it’s almost as if the date didn’t happen at all.  All you get is an imperceptible nod of acknowledgment…if you’re lucky.  There are times when you’re not sure if he just didn’t see you or if he purposely ignored you.   You wondered what happened.  What went wrong?  The date went fine, even well actually. Is he suddenly shy?  Did he realize that you’re not his type after all and doesn’t know how to act now?  Whatever it is, there’s really got to be something behind his actions.  But everything he does speaks of one thing – COWARDICE!  What do you do now?

Ignore him back and cut all connections – ASAP!  Make him sweat, not yourself!  Don’t change your routines and act like nothing happened too.  He no longer exists, except in the periphery.  He’s just another one of the building people, no one in particular.  If he deigns to greet you, then by all means greet back, but merely dispense a generic, ordinary greeting.  A blow hot, blow cold person like him deserves nothing more.

BUT, if after all these you can’t resist and still find him cute then…still do the steps above, hehe.  But when he DOES give you a nice greeting, give him a nice one too.  After all, there might still be a glimmer of hope.  You wouldn’t really want to totally lose a catch, would you?   Tit for tat’s the name of the game now.

- Gypsy Vixen

Where am I?

Missing Person: Old Crush!

Person above is a lookalike.

Please leave a comment if you’ve seen this person.

Wahaha.

If all else fails, JUST DO IT.

You’ve raised awareness. You already got him to hate you. You even managed to turn THAT around and made him miss you by disappearing for a while.

But still, no progress. It could be because your Crush is just as scared as you are to make the first move!

Question is, how much do you really like him?

If you really REALLY do…here’s the last (and ultimate) resort:

ASK HIM OUT!

Yes, you heard me right. JUST DO IT. Yes, you just might get rejected. But that is a risk you have to take. And hey, for all we know, he just might end up saying that much elusive YES.

And regardless of his answer, it is guaranteed to be incredibly liberating. So what are you waiting for?

*ahem*

Gypsy Vixen? :p

—

Here’s a song by Natasha Bedingfield called “How do you do.” It doesn’t always have to be the girl waiting around, you know

“How Do You Do?”

If it’s weird for girls to give guys flowers,
Then maybe that’s a reason too,
You’re not climbing up my ivory tower,
So I’m comin’ down for you,

Is it wrong to write our names in love hearts,
In the dust that’s on the car you drive
Droppin’ hints can only get you so far,
When you don’t know that I’m alive

Is it wrong to be the instigator (is it worng, is it wrong?)
Is it bad to be the move maker
Guess I gotta be the first to say a
to say a, to say a

How do you do?
If you won’t say it, I will,
How do you do?
I’m really pleased to meet you,
How do you do?
Gotta say it how I feel it,
Say it or I will,

When you’re hanging at the point of stalement,
It’s not the time to bite your tongue
So at the risk of looking really stupid,
I’m gunna take the plunge

Is it wrong to be the instigator (No)
Is it bad to be the move maker
Guess I gotta be the first to say a
to say a, to say a

Say it or I will

It’s not a good life just sittin round drinkin tea
Touching all each other
Exchanging pleasantries
I’ve been too retired to sink except
Sick of crosswords
Now I want to connect

Gotta say it how I feel it,
Say it or i will

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

So give yourself a pat on the back!

You’ve successfully established awareness–and when we say awareness, we do not only mean he recognizes you as one of the people he regularly sees during his lunch hour. We’re talking awareness pertaining to you being THE person of the hour. Your stalkee is very much aware of you. He knows your break hours, knows you regularly order food from a certain restaurant at a specific hour every morning…heck, he even knows the exact floor of your office. If not, he is at the very least aware of the fact that it is either above or below his own floor. In this stalker’s case, it’s above. >:)

So…Awareness, check!

Establishing hate (or, in some cases, TERROR) is already done as well. At this point in the stalking game, you may have already experienced seeing your stalkee break out in hives the moment he saw you enter the room. You may have already seen his normally radiant, charming smile instantly turn into a sneer/scowl/frown/look of disgust the moment he spied you within his vicinity. Yes, he hates you alright. And his hatred is so intense that even the slightest “um” or “caimito carrot strawberry shake please!” coming from you would cause him to turn and grab your shirt, toss you onto the floor (don’t get too excited yet because it’s not what you think) and beat you to a bloody pulp. We are talking INTENSE HATRED here so you better worry about your personal safety as well.

Crush is already nearing that LINE. That THIN LINE BETWEEN INTENSE HATE and (ooh la la) LOVE. So it’s crucial you do the following before the hatred escalates into a court hearing. Or, worse, your own demise. Ahehe. We did mention stalking has its risks, right?

Anyway, the next step is crucial.

After you get your stalkee to hate you to the highest level possible, as in just when you feel that he is finally on the verge of SNAPPING and wringing your neck…

DISAPPEAR. Vanish into thin air. As in don’t show your face for a week. Yes, we know it will be HARD. Difficult. But think of it as a test of conviction. How much do you really want him? Hahaha.

The primary reason for disappearing is simple. It will throw him off-balance. After weeks and months of being annoyed by you, of constantly running into you, he’ll suddenly wonder why the hell you aren’t showing up during his lunch breaks/yosi breaks/coffee breaks/tennis practice sessions.

It will most probably lead him to paranoia at first. He’ll be up all night wondering where the hell you are, what your new stalking game plan is, etc etc. It doesn’t matter. Point is, he will be thinking about YOU. You will be the last person he thinks about when he goes to sleep. Not his mom, not his dad, not his girlfriend (if he has one), not even his labrador named *toot*. It will be YOU.

After paranoia, relief will wash over him. Thank god you went away. There won’t be anybody anymore to annoy him during lunch, he can go on with his work without being conscious about someone always staring at him 24/7. Relief.

But then he will get bored. Nothing interesting about his daily grind now. It’s just work, work, work. His breaks will seem monotonous. He will start walking with a slump instead of his usual swagger. Why? You’re no longer there to satisfy the needs of his big ego! Take that, crush! He’ll start wondering where the gorgeous girl who used to bat her eyelashes at him is now. And yes, we mean it when we call you gorgeous. Stalking doesn’t necessarily mean you make yourself look like a total HAG. In fact, we have an entirely different entry devoted to Stalking Fashion. But, I digress.

The point of the entry is…Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Establish awareness, make him hate you to the point of murder, and then DISAPPEAR. The tables will turn. It will be him obsessing about you now. Of course, you can still find out what he is up to–that is what hidden cameras and spies are for! Just make sure you disappear off his radar for a while. But don’t take too long because instead of crossing that line between love and hate, he’ll just completely forget you.

We suggest disappearing for a maximum of 15 days. A number beyond that will only lead to him completely forget about you. Be the judge as well. If you see in your hidden camera footage that he is already going crazy about not seeing you, make a sudden appearance wearing your best outfit. But don’t linger too long. Make it a 5 minute appearance. Make it look like you are a mirage in the desert. An illusion!

Stalkee will fall for you. Hook, line and sinker.

Good luck!

*Disclaimer: theory’s results may vary according to, er, every person.

A Little Inspiration

This one’s for those still taking deep breaths or still searching for the courage to finally make the move on their stalkees:

From Eleven Minutes by Paolo Coelho:

“Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other.”

“These meetings are waiting for us, but more often than not, we avoid them happening.  If we are desperate, though, if we have nothing to lose, or if we are full of enthusiasm for life, then the unknown reveals itself, and our universe changes direction.”

May your universe change direction.

- Gypsy Vixen

A Thin Line Between Love and Hate

A stated in previous posts, Awareness is the first goal. The next is making them hate you, on the pretext of there being a flimsy line between love and hate. The worst thing you could ever get from the object of your affection is indifference. Be happy, be very happy if they appear to hate you, or at the very least to be mad or annoyed at you. Any kind of attention from them is welcome. Any sign of emotion from them is good, most especially if it’s something as intense as hatred! Why? Because it means you managed to disturb them! You got under their skin – good job!

Don’t fret if they hate you. Hate is not the opposite of love; indifference is. The measure of their hate could probably also be the measure of their love. Keep thinking that and it just might come true. So how do you make them hate you? Uhmm…try to gauge their personalities and guess what could be their pet peeves, then do it to them! For example, if Crush appears to be an obsessive-compulsive neat-freak, “accidentally” pour coffee on his nicest shirt. This way, you even get to kill two birds with one stone. You achieve both the awareness and the hate factors. Nice going!

Next up: What happens after the hate? Absence makes the heart grow fonder…

- Gypsy Vixen

Seize the moment!

Let’s say you’re in an elevator with your stalking partner and only one other person, namely: CRUSH. It is definitely not the time to chicken out! What else could you ask for? Nobody else around but your stalking partner…who is your best support in moments like these. Go ahead and grab the bull by the balls; open that seemed-to-be-glued together mouth. Especially when you previously promised said stalking partner to take action the very next time you see Crush.

———

Actual case study:

The Wicked got tongue-tied once more in the presence of a Crush…and again inside the elevator. Gypsy Vixen called forth her acting ability and found a way to nonchalantly mention The Wicked’s first name – in keeping with the first goal of stalking: Awareness. Gypsy Vixen moved to the other side of the elevator to literally give The Wicked room to “maneuver”. So, what now?

The ideal scenario would be to strike up a simple, innocent conversation with Crush. Not really an impossible task since you all get to cross paths at least once a week, so it’s not improbable to approach each other. Actual scenario: nothing. It became an ordinary elevator ride instead of THE ELEVATOR RIDE!

So guys, gays and girls, learn from the follies of Stalkers, Inc. Golden opportunities like these do not often come your way – especially opportunities that were perfectly designed and executed.

Haha, easier said than done! I wonder what I’ll do when it’s my turn. I still haven’t given in to tempting fate and declaring promises of action. No wonder it’s my partner who’s called The Wicked.

- Gypsy Vixen

Quotes on Stalking

“All successful employers are stalking men who will do the unusual, men who think, men who attract attention by performing more than is expected of them.” – Charles M. Schwab

“There is a fine line between serendipity and stalking.” - David Coleman

“Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, ‘Psst. That’s the Secret Service.’” - Jay Leno

“Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.” – Ryan Reynolds

Even Shakespeare is a stalker! See:
“I stalk about her door like a strange soul upon the Stygian banks staying for wattage.”

Haha I love it!

One word: Awareness

Knowing all there is to know about our current object(s) of obsession is not really the end goal here in Stalkers Inc. Beyond that, raising a high level of awareness among our stalkees is the ultimate priority.

Note, however, that awareness does not equate to FEAR. We DO NOT want our stalkees to be afraid of us. Preferred reactions include amusement, pity, irritation and flattery. Fear is not something we want to instill in our stalkees’ heads as that would eventually lead to avoidance.

Case and point: Yours Truly. I am not proud of it but neither am I ashamed. The event led to Crush becoming very much aware of my existence. However, my mistake was going overboard to the point of loudly announcing “OH MY GOD” upon his entrance to the room. I was so caught off guard by his sudden appearance (another lesson here: CONSTANT VIGILANCE!) that the three words that ultimately resulted to my downfall slipped out of my mouth. I was powerless to stop it.

A few weeks later, said Crush disappeared.

Gypsy Vixen reasoned it was due to a transfer of offices within said crush’s company but I feel deep down it was fear of being within the same vicinity as me. I suspect Crush is an atheist. The phrase “Oh my God” triggered the fear in him. Thank heavens I was able to do damage control. The encounter did not lead to a restraining order.

See my point? Awareness is a priority. However, it has to be awareness devoid of fear.

-0-

A successful case an amateur stalker should consider would be that of Gypsy Vixen’s latest encounter with Crush (not mine, hers). It was a stroke of luck (and my neglect of telling her that Crush was heading our way) that Gypsy Vixen uttered the words “Drag me! Drag me!” just in time for Crush to meet her eye.

Yes, it resulted to shame on her part but nonetheless, it heightened Crush’s awareness AND, quite possibly, interested him enough to be curious about the actions exhibited by my co-stalker. He was amused! And it showed in the way he started smiling and biting his lip. The latter action perhaps signaling the internal struggle on his part to keep himself from laughing out loud at her avid cries of despair BUT it was still AWARENESS! Plain and utter awareness!

We have to give props to our stalkee here too. A gentleman! (Suggested reading: In choosing stalkees, quality trumps quantity by Donald Trump)

So there, fellow stalkers. The first step leading to stalking success: Awareness. Of course, extensive research on your part about your targets is standard operating procedure. Know their schedules, food preferences, parking spaces, office floors, etc etc. Any information is good information. It will give you the ammunition you need to nip that object of obsession in the bud!

Watch out for the upcoming entry about one of our most exciting Stalking Theories: A Thin Line between Love and Hate.